HARD WEEK

It was a hard week for us as a family. Such hard news to hear that my niece had lost her baby that she had carried for 9 months. I won't go into details but we are still trying to deal with the loss and the shock. Our hearts are broken. 

The same day I received this tragic news I had come from the eye doctor shaken by the diagnosis of Glaucoma I hardly knew what to think. She said my prescription had changed very little and I could see well, EXCEPT for the Glaucoma. Somehow that sounded weird to me. 
How can I see well and not even know my eyes have this problem?? It's similar to blood pressure in a way. You can have a high number and not even know it. 

I had a ton of questions for the eye doctor. I am still mulling over the idea of a second opinion. These are my EYES..they are precious to me after all.. I sure don't want to make any mistakes or miss something that could hurt me in the future. So now I have to deal with this new illness and try to help it not progress further any faster than it is. There is a surgery, but it only relieves the water pressure build up in the eyes and will not stop the end result of eventual blindness. Scary thoughts creep in when thinking about being in a dark world, with no light. I just don't know what to think. So I end this week that brought us the first day of spring, warmer temps and melting snow, confused, and heartbroken.  

COMING TO THE END..

                                    

 

So I haven't been writing much here and there isn't much traffic either, so I will soon turn this place into a private blog. I just need to let go of some things that I cannot keep going. One blog is enough I guess. I will continue to keep my original Wordpress blog open.
You can find the link on the sidebar.  

THANKS FOR VISITING.....

ARE WE DEPRESSED??

On Valentine's day I went for my follow-up appointment for the "spell" I had. They said they opened at 8 AM. They did not. You stood in the cold, trying to keep your feet from freezing to the pavement, until they opened the doors. Many of us gathered complaining that this whole arrangement was crazy. I did mention I was GLAD it was not 20 below wind chill like the week before. I signed in and sat next to the heating vent hoping to stay away from anyone else that had ANYTHING I sure didn't want to catch. Dr. offices are the worst places to be when you are well. When I went back to the cubicle I was asked questions by the RN and all she could say was "Wow" and "Really"...while looking at my charts. I was in remarkable good health. Yay Me!!

 The young doctor, who was a volunteer there looked at my records, he asked me..so.."Are we depressed?".. Don't you just love that term.. "WE".. well  I didn't hesitate to answer him. YES, in less than 24 hours two weeks ago I went from not being depressed to really down and depressed. I told him that my little "SPELL" I had, cost me a fortune and it would be literally years before I would be able to catch up. AS they added on tests, my blood pressure continued to rise.Well I will now try to stay calm when the bills come because they will. Spring is coming, may new opportunities come with it. 


 Happy Valentine's day.. hmmm.. I got a nice surprise when I got back to the car. Sis had bought these delicious treats...from the bakery. It's been years since I had tasted one. They were freshly baked and were delicious. The line went outside the door with people waiting to purchase their Valentine goodies. I will long remember this holiday. 
Hope yours was wonderful too. 

MY WORLD WAS SPINNING..

Imagine yourself on a small boat drifting in a big ocean with no oars to row with. You see the skies darkening and you know something bad is coming but have no way to get away from there fast enough. The waters go from calm to violently rocking and swaying quickly.

It is hard to just stay in the boat and not fall out. 

This is sort of what happened to me this past week. I knew what was coming, but had no way to stop it. Try as I might, it kept getting worse. This feeling of loss of control as the room just went from a small rocking motion to really bad. I have had it before on several occasions. I  knew what to do, but this time I could not help myself like I wanted to. As the day went on the feeling got worse instead of better. I closed my eyes and that helped. I did not move and that helped. It just did not relieve the problem. It is worse than anything to lose control of ones balance and fight to try to get it back and lose the battle.

VERTIGO.. 

"Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is one of the most common causes of vertigo — the sudden sensation that you're spinning or that the inside of your head is spinning.

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo is characterized by brief episodes of mild to intense dizziness. Symptoms of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo are triggered by specific changes in the position of your head, such as tipping your head up or down, and by lying down, turning over or sitting up in bed. You may also feel out of balance when standing or walking."

My case was the room moving and when my eyes tried to focus they twitched and I felt even more out of it. You cannot drink or eat, the waves of nausea come over you so you wait for them to pass. If you have ever experienced it you will not ever want to again.  I was perfectly fine only minutes before this episode, so all of the sudden you feel like a truck has run over you. 

Why it got so bad, why it started..I didn't know. As it got worse several strange things happened. I stood up, which was hard enough to do, and then had a tingling sensation from the top of my head to my toes. THAT was new, I had never had that before. The doctors later said they had no idea why I had that, but they had to check it out. 

CHECK they did..I spent SEVEN HOURS in the ER, being prodded and poked by people talking to me whom I could not see. If I opened my eyes it was worse so I didn't. It gave me a whole new perspective and appreciation for the gift of sight. 

MORE TO COME....

A BRAND NEW YEAR!!

Something called a POLAR VORTEX came down and blasted its way over more than half the USA. Snow and ice all the way to Alabama. Never seen this much snow in ten years some were saying. The stores were packed and people were smart to stock up. Literally nothing was running in our area..... for 3 DAYS. Kids are off school because of the COLD not the snow. Plows ran 12 hours shifts and they got the roads cleared pretty fast considering how much snow we had. THE COLD is something else again. I ventured out onto the porch and right back inside. Way too cold for me to breathe in, 14 below zero and 25 below when the wind kicked up. NASTY..Colder than ALASKA..that polar vortex was nothing to fool with. I started wearing so many layers of clothes I feel like an Eskimo... Welcome to 2014?? It's starting out very weird.
                       

This was a shot of town with 6 inches of snow..where they put 14 more I have no idea.

 I have had this blog at blogger since 2010. I have tried to keep it separate from my Wordpress blog.  Blogging is a venue to express our feelings or talents to the world. 
Well it seems to be really dying out now. I will keep mine around, and write when I feel like it or when I have something to share. What's been happening in my world is something that I had been forbidden to discuss on a public blog. I know that sounds kind of weird but I it's the way it is. Some already know what's going on..others can take any kind of guess they would like. I am NOT in mortal danger or taking drugs etc. but I can say life is not a bed of roses right now. It has not been for some time. I make the best of each day and try to move on. I made some goals for 2014. We will see how well I do. I will update when I can, until then..here are some photos I managed to take while shoveling out this past week. My camera is on it's way out. It has a mind of its own and I have to re do almost every shot I take. Still it takes nice photos.

This poor bush almost broke under the heavy snow, the drift is almost as high as the fence is.

 The snow is as high as the top of the handle. Below you see the van covered up, that is not all drifted snow, it was really deep. 

This was taken before the storm also. We had about 6 inches on the ground.

Stay warm and well my friends...

        

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

FOR some it won't be so merry. A real bad ice storm set thousands without power in our state and it could not come at a worse time. Men are frantically working on restoring it and more snow and such could make it a really tough go of it. We managed to get the least amount of ice and I was glad. Our driveway is a skating rink..so cold the salt won't melt the ice on the roads or the sidewalks. Treacherous is a word that many people are using over the past few days. I managed to get my shopping, what little I did, over early. Was so glad I did that!  I went in the pouring rain to do my small tasks and prayed I would not catch pneumonia it was so cold. 
HAPPY to sit home now and keep warm and eat my Christmas dinner. More on that later..      

I WON!! I won a drawing for a cookbook from our beloved  blogger BETH MARIE!! I am thrilled, and honored.It sure was a shock and then I also got an early Christmas present of a new tablet and so I am trying to learn all the new things on it. I love it so far and it is so fast and easy. No wonder the clerk said that it was the best seller of 2013..I can imagine all the children in all the grade schools having these to work on..soon the pencils will be gone and the tablets we used to use. Soon kids will ask..what is a pencil?? OH MY!!  That is progress I guess. 

So for the menu for Christmas dinner..we missed Thanksgiving being so sick, so Turkey and Ham and all the side dishes we want this year. I will get back to normal after the new year. I am not making or baking any sweets this year..Jello is as close as it gets for me. I did find some nice sugar cookies in the store so will enjoy them too. 
                                  

I will close this with a photo of the last tree we had in our old home..We kept it up until FEBRUARY..YOU heard that right. It was the last tree mom saw and enjoyed and we just did not have the heart to take it down early. I hope you and your family have a wonderful and MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

BLAHHHS

Haven't felt much like writing lately. This bronchitis or whatever it was is still hanging on and the coughing fits are the pits. I got out for a few minutes to get much needed groceries and it just wore me out. My my, I guess I still have whatever it is. 
Fever lasted for several days so it made the think the FLU, sure didn't act like it though. ANYWAY...Christmas is only three weeks away and I just cannot get into the mood this year. We missed Thanksgiving entirely. I even watched the Macy's parade and tried to get into the holiday spirit. It just wasn't the same I guess. No cookies or treats, no appetite for them really. Kinda feel that BLAHH and hope it goes away soon!!
Snow and cold coming and that will really set the tone I guess for a white Christmas for us this year. Got to get busy and plan a meal and set up a tree..Hope that jogs the ole Blahh right out of me.. 

HAVE A WONDERFUL SAFE  HOLIDAY SEASON AND....
                                                         

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

For  all those who visit here, 

Have a wonderful, happy, safe Thanksgiving!!!

I'M SICK...

I am sick of just trying to keep going. I am sick of getting behind in everything. What the heck is going on? I look at life so differently now. I hate the way things are and seem stuck..stuck and cannot get out of my own way. I have "adapted" one person said to me. Yes, you could say that and then again.. NO I haven't. The pressure every day to just do one little thing that can help out..well it's not easy. The situation is grim,and trying to find a way out of it.. tiring. Is it any wonder I don't blog any more as this seems to be a daily thing for me. Pick yourself up and move on..easy to say if you are not involved. Easy if you are not attached to the situation. I am surrounded daily with reminders of past things and need to move on and then not able to. Sounds like depression to me. I have a lot of things to work through. I get joy from sun light..watching nature, breathing fresh air, cold or not, and spending time on line searching for new ideas. I got my retirement checks all sorted out, what a hassle that was. Seems powers that be could not figure out some things and kept asking me the same questions over and over. I dreaded hearing the phone ring. I am setting some goals for the winter. One thing at a time..one thing at a time. This too shall pass..

BARN CHARM

This barn was in the process of being painted brown. 

The top of the barn had a sign that was a black and white cow. I am guessing it was a dairy farm.

See-through barn that was pretty shaky looking. 

BARN CHARM TUESDAY

I miss our Barn Charm Tuesdays.. I liked seeing other's barns and posting my own photos of them. Something "charming" about them. I hope that one day they will reopen a blog site for them. Now I am posting my own photos today.. Hope you enjoy them.  As you can see there is still plenty of green here and up north. These photos were taken last week. This barn was very close to the road.. I was so surprised.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!

 

IT'S DEAD AND GONE...

Well it looks like this blog is dead and gone.. I can write whatever I please because of the lack of readers here... sooo it's okay to post that the fall came and in the nick of time because our AC quit. I got so tired of standing trying to tinker with the controls. It was one of those digital display ones that keeps your room at a constant temperature. You would think that would be wonderful. I did.. UNTIL.. it got a mind of it's own.
It started displaying weird numbers and letters, and flashing on and off like it was having a seizure. I kept praying when it was 90 outside for just one more run to keep us cool. It was an older model but worked great. Sis decided to just let it go......
LITERALLY... she opened the window and after much prying on the braces...let it go out the window. It hit the ground with a bounce and landed right where our car had been sitting not 5 minutes before. IT broke into many pieces. The sound carried all over the neighborhood. Too heavy to lift it, we had to tug to get it up and flipped over to move it out of the driveway. ON the way out the window it decided to hang on the storm window and break it all out. So now the whole window is completely a mess.
Glass everywhere..OH JOY!! NOT!!!

WELCOME FALL.. please don't let winter come yet.. we are not prepared!!! Trips to find someone in this tiny town who does glass repair, (good luck with that) will be forthcoming.   

 Neighbors think I have went crazy as they see me go to the mail box and flail my arms in the air to keep the mosquito's off me..they are vicious and huge this year. It seems they have made a camp out of our yard and have called their army to 
stay for the duration. I looked up on a search engine what I could make myself and came up with this combination. The recipe consists of three household ingredients: epsom salts, beer and Listerine.  Combine a third of each in a garden sprayer, then wet everything in the yard.I was told one application lasts the season.  Boy you can bet I am going to try this at least once. Well maybe next season...this one is on the way out. BEER??? any kind will do it said..been a long time since a bought a beer..never liked the taste of it myself. 
Well gotta wrap this up here.. more later.. Have a great day.. the weather permitting that is.. 

RECENT VIEWS

I am not quite sure all my updates are going out there, but I keep adding here. Here are some recent views this summer because, YES, I am taking photos almost everyday!!

NASCAR in front of our store, those cars are sooooo loud when they start them up, makes your teeth rattle.

This cup made me laugh because my Sis always says this to me..she's a real cat lover! Had to buy it!!

Love the color of this Phlox..

Farmer's Market had such nice fresh vegetables..loved this little salesman. I bought beans because his
sign said.. "Corn may be wormy" ..talk about honesty!

9-11 REMEMBERED

                                                           

I was in my room doing my hair getting ready to take my mom for a hair appointment...I looked up and Matt Lauer said.." Something is happening at the World Trade Towers in New York City." Now I don't remember what they were talking about before and I know I was not really paying close attention until I saw the towers on fire...Then I got this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Those poor people, I hope they get out safely" I said out loud.. I turned to ABC then, and sure enough there was Charlie Gibson talking about what was going on and then the second plane hit.I watched it LIVE. I was numb. I totally stood there with my mouth open saying .".NO, NO this can't be happening! This is AMERICA what is going on???? "GOD BLESS Peter Jennings who came on shortly thereafter and was explaining what was going on. I yelled for my mother to turn on her TV.."Can you believe this.. WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!!!?

I took my mother to get her hair cut... under protest... I mean I REALLY did not want to go at all!!!SHE DID! That was the last thing I wanted to do..leave my TV...  I stayed in the car the whole time and never left the radio for more than a minute. I heard  them talking about other planes and how many they didn't know.. Every station was telling what was going on.Radios were on inside the beauty shop also and it was eerily quiet when I went inside to get her. We all just had the most terrible sad looks on our faces.  When we left, I went through the bank and got money so I could buy gas..(would I need a full tank?) we filled up the tank and I stopped and ran in for some food in case..(would we need supplies?) I had no idea what for...I just felt the need to do it. The store had TV's on... they were usually on the food channel but today they were on news!!  People were gathered around and people were talking about WAR!!! 

Pearl Harbor I heard mentioned from one elderly man. War!! I had not thought about that...  not really.. who in the world would attack the USA?..I mean thats so crazy!! I got out of there fast and went straight home....the TV hardly went off for the next 48 hours and I

 watched a very tired ABC anchor sit there through most of it,  tirelessly talking and explaining things..it was a comfort for him to be

 there...like Cronkite when Kennedy was shot. (Yes I am old enough to remember that day and Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy

 too. ) We have come a long way in the years that have passed and we still have a long way to go. Today I will be remembering a lot of things... but I will remember those who died there and in Pennsylvania and in Washington at the Pentagon. GOD BLESS AMERICA and those who serve our country and protect and serve our cities.. they are doing a tireless job and I absolutely support them 100%!!! 

BARN CHARM TUESDAY

Cannot remember where I took this, just loved the see through look of it. Wondered if they use it for anything. It did look like something was stored inside.

I liked the doors, this barn had horses on the door..sorry for the blur taken from the road through the car window. Wish I had gotten a better view of the writing above the door.

More BARN CHARM found here. 

BARN CHARM TUESDAY

I took this last fall in northern Michigan near Grand Rapids.  I just loved the whole scene. 
 Visit here for more Barn Charm Tuesday.

BARN CHARM TUESDAY

This barn roof was eye catching and very creative but what I saw later was several buildings. One was a winery tasting room and the other a gift shop.

From the road this place was huge. Even better when we visited it.
Here is more info on the place,quite a family business.

They used the barn and turned it into a cider mill. Very huge with a complete ramp for handicap access.

More Barn Charm found here.

BARN CHARM TUESDAY

Could not believe there was a chimney on top of that barn, made me wonder if someone was living in it. 

Looks like a Tin roof on that old barn but I love the vine growing on the silo too.

                                                                                

This one is kinda blurred, taken while driving by, two toned and odd shaped. Was not sure just what kind of barn it was.
All the barns were located in northern Michigan.

VISIT HERE FOR MORE BARN CHARM 

STILL AROUND....

I am still around..what's left of me.. I have lasted so far with the grace of using the public wifi at the library about 2 days a week.I still feel so out of touch with so many. It sure helps but does not in any way feel normal. I do hope that the situation will be better soon. I cannot believe August is here already. We have had such wonderful weather here in Michigan. A great break from the summer heat. 

I have been taking lots of photos lately..things this summer have been slow to bloom in some places. 

Love the look of this tree/bush..flowers, they do make my allergies go crazy though.

GREAT NEWS from our BETH MARIE about her cancer. I am overjoyed with the news and know that our prayers for her are answered.  

DAY SEVENTEEN!!!

I can't believe it's been seventeen days already.. time is passing. Some days slowly and some days I feel very stressed out.. guess you could call it "withdrawal" pains. Keeping in touch with what's "going on" in the blogging world or the Facebook family is very much missed. 

Making it day by day with the lack of connections and the overwhelming heat that is hitting us all this summer. I retreated the library as fast as they opened as did many other people. The heat index today well into 100+ so anyplace that is cool is a good place to be. This past weekend I ventured up north  to attend a birthday party for my niece's 2 year old. Nice to drive up and see the sights again. You never know how large those wind turbines are until you are almost beside them. ONE word..HUGE!
They rise at least 330 feet in the air and the blades are over 200 feet long. There was a huge "farm" of them all over the country-side. 

A boy and his wagon, taking his tractor for a ride. I do remember the days when I got my first wagon. It wasn't as fancy as a Radio Flyer but we did have it most of our entire childhood. A metal Radio Flyer wagon, we found out, is harder to find these days and soon may come obsolete to the more plastic ones. In buying certain models you have to order them, no matter what store you are in. They are only available on line orders. There was a time when a simple wagon like that could be found in any store. Sad sign of the times I guess. Well  until next time I sure hope you all can