Not long ago someone said to me.. "You sure are easy to please...why don't you ask for a better selection?". I was standing in a store looking at some items and there was not much there to choose from. This total stranger had no idea of what my life had been like or where I had come from.
She had no idea that when you have NOTHING, you are homeless, not by choice, and are grateful for anything..you are EASY to PLEASE.
It changes your whole existence. You look at life and things around you so different from others. A simple thing like eating out to others is just really exciting to you.
Going into a grocery store and buying ANYTHING in the store you want is just a dream to you. Watching others talk about going to movies or other activities is something you would only wish to do. You MAKE do with what you have or your situation and you adapt. I learned to adapt and move on day by day.
When I found myself sitting inside my storage space looking at my life's possessions and having to throw them in a dumpster because I could not sell them and had no way to keep them anymore. It really changed me. You have to totally start over. You suffer from depression and feel helpless and alone. Even with others around you, you still feel alone. They don't really G E T how it is to be where you are. You try everything you know to help yourself out of the situation you are in. You go to sleep praying for a miracle.
I got my miracle, the one I had been praying for in June of 2014. When my sister was sick in ICU at a hospital out of town, I sat there waiting to see what was going to happen to her and my cell phone rang. One of the apartments I had applied for
finally was available after 3 years of waiting. I was going to have a HOME again. MY own place to be.
The excitement was overpowering to me, I cried thinking about how nice it would be to have a place of my own after all this time. I cried learning that my sister nearly died in that ICU. Dealing with her illness put my life second. I had to make a decision, do what I could to help myself. So yes with help, I took the apartment. I signed the papers for my own place just 6 days shy of my birthday. It was the greatest present I had gotten in my life. I got it sight unseen. Something I never would have thought of doing but given the circumstances, I just was grateful to get it. I was easy to please all right.. just to have a place of my own. I thought I will just deal with it the best I can. Day by day...one day at a time. I had it one whole month before I could move in.
...... more later....
