Sunday, February 16, 2014


On Valentine's day I went for my follow-up appointment for the "spell" I had. They said they opened at 8 AM. They did not. You stood in the cold, trying to keep your feet from freezing to the pavement, until they opened the doors. Many of us gathered complaining that this whole arrangement was crazy. I did mention I was GLAD it was not 20 below wind chill like the week before. I signed in and sat next to the heating vent hoping to stay away from anyone else that had ANYTHING I sure didn't want to catch. Dr. offices are the worst places to be when you are well. When I went back to the cubicle I was asked questions by the RN and all she could say was "Wow" and "Really"...while looking at my charts. I was in remarkable good health. Yay Me!!

 The young doctor, who was a volunteer there looked at my records, he asked"Are we depressed?".. Don't you just love that term.. "WE".. well  I didn't hesitate to answer him. YES, in less than 24 hours two weeks ago I went from not being depressed to really down and depressed. I told him that my little "SPELL" I had, cost me a fortune and it would be literally years before I would be able to catch up. AS they added on tests, my blood pressure continued to rise.Well I will now try to stay calm when the bills come because they will. Spring is coming, may new opportunities come with it. 

 Happy Valentine's day.. hmmm.. I got a nice surprise when I got back to the car. Sis had bought these delicious treats...from the bakery. It's been years since I had tasted one. They were freshly baked and were delicious. The line went outside the door with people waiting to purchase their Valentine goodies. I will long remember this holiday. 
Hope yours was wonderful too. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014


Imagine yourself on a small boat drifting in a big ocean with no oars to row with. You see the skies darkening and you know something bad is coming but have no way to get away from there fast enough. The waters go from calm to violently rocking and swaying quickly.
It is hard to just stay in the boat and not fall out. 

This is sort of what happened to me this past week. I knew what was coming, but had no way to stop it. Try as I might, it kept getting worse. This feeling of loss of control as the room just went from a small rocking motion to really bad. I have had it before on several occasions. I  knew what to do, but this time I could not help myself like I wanted to. As the day went on the feeling got worse instead of better. I closed my eyes and that helped. I did not move and that helped. It just did not relieve the problem. It is worse than anything to lose control of ones balance and fight to try to get it back and lose the battle.

"Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is one of the most common causes of vertigo — the sudden sensation that you're spinning or that the inside of your head is spinning.

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo is characterized by brief episodes of mild to intense dizziness. Symptoms of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo are triggered by specific changes in the position of your head, such as tipping your head up or down, and by lying down, turning over or sitting up in bed. You may also feel out of balance when standing or walking."

My case was the room moving and when my eyes tried to focus they twitched and I felt even more out of it. You cannot drink or eat, the waves of nausea come over you so you wait for them to pass. If you have ever experienced it you will not ever want to again.  I was perfectly fine only minutes before this episode, so all of the sudden you feel like a truck has run over you. 

Why it got so bad, why it started..I didn't know. As it got worse several strange things happened. I stood up, which was hard enough to do, and then had a tingling sensation from the top of my head to my toes. THAT was new, I had never had that before. The doctors later said they had no idea why I had that, but they had to check it out. 
CHECK they did..I spent SEVEN HOURS in the ER, being prodded and poked by people talking to me whom I could not see. If I opened my eyes it was worse so I didn't. It gave me a whole new perspective and appreciation for the gift of sight.