BREATHING...

LIFE moves on.. we all know that.Sometimes it moves in mysterious ways and we wonder why. I learned not to wonder..just to accept the fact that God is in control and he doesn't make mistakes EVER. I went to a Senior health fair to connect with others and seek out information and network for job opportunities in our area. I drove through the fog in the early morning on the road I took so many times with my mother.   I noticed the country-side trying to come back to life after this long, long winter. Several deer were chomping on the remnants of cut fields of corn, trees were beginning to turn greener with some buds here and there. I arrived to find many people gathering eating donuts and coffee and chatting about how gas prices were unbearable, and the checks just don't cover increases in living any more.

Long rows of tables lined the cafeteria from many different area companies. I walked and talked with so many about how life is hard for those who cannot deal
with their disabilities and need help sometimes. They all agreed with me. The volume level of so many speaking at once made me think of a giant party without the music.
 I turned a corner and ran smack into two people from the care home where mom stayed. I took a deep breath and hugged the man who spoke at my mother's funeral. The nurse standing beside him was on duty the night mom died. She gave me a hug and asked  how I was doing. Do you lie and say fine or speak up and tell the truth? I spoke the truth.. I told her how hard it has been to try to deal with 60 years of life and giving and selling it to strangers. How quiet the house is without "the boss" around and how I try to cope and do the best I can. He spoke up and said to me.. "your mom was a life-force that is hard to miss..you must give yourself time."..I had to agree with him, she was bossy and stubborn and opinionated that was a fact. Her words still echo in my ears about this or that. All I have to do is listen.

I came down the aisle of tables and another smiling face came up to me. A worker from the local nurses home care hugged my neck. I was very glad to see her again and thanked her for all she did those many months. I had not thought about how many people I would see there I really DID know. Two hours later, I left after having a great conversation with our local librarian. New changes there sound very exciting. I recieved a call later stating that I had won a door prize after I left. All of the prizes were donated of course, but the one that I got  will last me a whole year. A membership to the local senior center and all it's services. Technically, I am barely a senior, but I am sure some of the services will really be helpful. What a nice surprise..I rarely win anything. Will let you know later how it goes.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!