HARD WEEK

It was a hard week for us as a family. Such hard news to hear that my niece had lost her baby that she had carried for 9 months. I won't go into details but we are still trying to deal with the loss and the shock. Our hearts are broken. 

The same day I received this tragic news I had come from the eye doctor shaken by the diagnosis of Glaucoma I hardly knew what to think. She said my prescription had changed very little and I could see well, EXCEPT for the Glaucoma. Somehow that sounded weird to me. 
How can I see well and not even know my eyes have this problem?? It's similar to blood pressure in a way. You can have a high number and not even know it. 

I had a ton of questions for the eye doctor. I am still mulling over the idea of a second opinion. These are my EYES..they are precious to me after all.. I sure don't want to make any mistakes or miss something that could hurt me in the future. So now I have to deal with this new illness and try to help it not progress further any faster than it is. There is a surgery, but it only relieves the water pressure build up in the eyes and will not stop the end result of eventual blindness. Scary thoughts creep in when thinking about being in a dark world, with no light. I just don't know what to think. So I end this week that brought us the first day of spring, warmer temps and melting snow, confused, and heartbroken.  

COMING TO THE END..

                                    

 

So I haven't been writing much here and there isn't much traffic either, so I will soon turn this place into a private blog. I just need to let go of some things that I cannot keep going. One blog is enough I guess. I will continue to keep my original Wordpress blog open.
You can find the link on the sidebar.  

THANKS FOR VISITING.....

ARE WE DEPRESSED??

On Valentine's day I went for my follow-up appointment for the "spell" I had. They said they opened at 8 AM. They did not. You stood in the cold, trying to keep your feet from freezing to the pavement, until they opened the doors. Many of us gathered complaining that this whole arrangement was crazy. I did mention I was GLAD it was not 20 below wind chill like the week before. I signed in and sat next to the heating vent hoping to stay away from anyone else that had ANYTHING I sure didn't want to catch. Dr. offices are the worst places to be when you are well. When I went back to the cubicle I was asked questions by the RN and all she could say was "Wow" and "Really"...while looking at my charts. I was in remarkable good health. Yay Me!!

 The young doctor, who was a volunteer there looked at my records, he asked me..so.."Are we depressed?".. Don't you just love that term.. "WE".. well  I didn't hesitate to answer him. YES, in less than 24 hours two weeks ago I went from not being depressed to really down and depressed. I told him that my little "SPELL" I had, cost me a fortune and it would be literally years before I would be able to catch up. AS they added on tests, my blood pressure continued to rise.Well I will now try to stay calm when the bills come because they will. Spring is coming, may new opportunities come with it. 


 Happy Valentine's day.. hmmm.. I got a nice surprise when I got back to the car. Sis had bought these delicious treats...from the bakery. It's been years since I had tasted one. They were freshly baked and were delicious. The line went outside the door with people waiting to purchase their Valentine goodies. I will long remember this holiday. 
Hope yours was wonderful too. 

MY WORLD WAS SPINNING..

Imagine yourself on a small boat drifting in a big ocean with no oars to row with. You see the skies darkening and you know something bad is coming but have no way to get away from there fast enough. The waters go from calm to violently rocking and swaying quickly.

It is hard to just stay in the boat and not fall out. 

This is sort of what happened to me this past week. I knew what was coming, but had no way to stop it. Try as I might, it kept getting worse. This feeling of loss of control as the room just went from a small rocking motion to really bad. I have had it before on several occasions. I  knew what to do, but this time I could not help myself like I wanted to. As the day went on the feeling got worse instead of better. I closed my eyes and that helped. I did not move and that helped. It just did not relieve the problem. It is worse than anything to lose control of ones balance and fight to try to get it back and lose the battle.

VERTIGO.. 

"Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is one of the most common causes of vertigo — the sudden sensation that you're spinning or that the inside of your head is spinning.

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo is characterized by brief episodes of mild to intense dizziness. Symptoms of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo are triggered by specific changes in the position of your head, such as tipping your head up or down, and by lying down, turning over or sitting up in bed. You may also feel out of balance when standing or walking."

My case was the room moving and when my eyes tried to focus they twitched and I felt even more out of it. You cannot drink or eat, the waves of nausea come over you so you wait for them to pass. If you have ever experienced it you will not ever want to again.  I was perfectly fine only minutes before this episode, so all of the sudden you feel like a truck has run over you. 

Why it got so bad, why it started..I didn't know. As it got worse several strange things happened. I stood up, which was hard enough to do, and then had a tingling sensation from the top of my head to my toes. THAT was new, I had never had that before. The doctors later said they had no idea why I had that, but they had to check it out. 

CHECK they did..I spent SEVEN HOURS in the ER, being prodded and poked by people talking to me whom I could not see. If I opened my eyes it was worse so I didn't. It gave me a whole new perspective and appreciation for the gift of sight. 

MORE TO COME....

A BRAND NEW YEAR!!

Something called a POLAR VORTEX came down and blasted its way over more than half the USA. Snow and ice all the way to Alabama. Never seen this much snow in ten years some were saying. The stores were packed and people were smart to stock up. Literally nothing was running in our area..... for 3 DAYS. Kids are off school because of the COLD not the snow. Plows ran 12 hours shifts and they got the roads cleared pretty fast considering how much snow we had. THE COLD is something else again. I ventured out onto the porch and right back inside. Way too cold for me to breathe in, 14 below zero and 25 below when the wind kicked up. NASTY..Colder than ALASKA..that polar vortex was nothing to fool with. I started wearing so many layers of clothes I feel like an Eskimo... Welcome to 2014?? It's starting out very weird.
                       

This was a shot of town with 6 inches of snow..where they put 14 more I have no idea.

 I have had this blog at blogger since 2010. I have tried to keep it separate from my Wordpress blog.  Blogging is a venue to express our feelings or talents to the world. 
Well it seems to be really dying out now. I will keep mine around, and write when I feel like it or when I have something to share. What's been happening in my world is something that I had been forbidden to discuss on a public blog. I know that sounds kind of weird but I it's the way it is. Some already know what's going on..others can take any kind of guess they would like. I am NOT in mortal danger or taking drugs etc. but I can say life is not a bed of roses right now. It has not been for some time. I make the best of each day and try to move on. I made some goals for 2014. We will see how well I do. I will update when I can, until then..here are some photos I managed to take while shoveling out this past week. My camera is on it's way out. It has a mind of its own and I have to re do almost every shot I take. Still it takes nice photos.

This poor bush almost broke under the heavy snow, the drift is almost as high as the fence is.

 The snow is as high as the top of the handle. Below you see the van covered up, that is not all drifted snow, it was really deep. 

This was taken before the storm also. We had about 6 inches on the ground.

Stay warm and well my friends...